Sunday, September 24, 2006
歌曲：心计
歌手：李克勤 专辑：男人魅
走进五星级酒店渡华丽假期
连人生也要当主角成就冲天飞
淡薄里三餐一宿渡过生老病死
不如凭勇气挺而走险石破天惊你看得起
遗忘自己成全自己受过伤懂得怎戒备
甜蜜储起仇恨至死哪个猜心者不卑鄙
让我毫无余地机关算尽博全场赞美
却比不起预计中欢喜
在我得到整个宇宙突然怀念你
走进这一出戏回头没了期
慈祥嘴脸手执兵器无十秒预备
就让我衣冠楚楚用我心去做戏
攻陷全世界突然很想对你讲一声对不起
遗忘自己成全自己受过伤懂得怎戒备
甜蜜储起仇恨至死哪个猜心者不卑鄙
但我无从逃避机关算尽发现唯有你
我舍不得我也输不起
在我得到整个宇宙突然怀念你
Salsaera Paradiz signing off lovingly 9/24/2006 11:09:00 PM
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Again, by monday and tuesday I will have to stand by the photocopying machine again to coax it. Have to do things nicely to prevent her from having the chance to scold me... hmmm...
As usual, I am still trying to crack my head as to what to write for my assingment. Another 1250 words more to go... At least there is improvment. After so many years did I really get to write a 4 pages long of application essays just for one question. Tough for a noob like me.
Been missing out on dance quite alot. But I think the main reason is that I still have no partner and I have no time to find one. My BF?? Hmmm.... Had not been having private lesson for a long long time. But oh well.....
The next sort of good news would be about my school modules at SIM. I was informed that I will be exempted from 40 credit units which means a total of 8 modules and that means I will get to skip the whole of level 2. Would that be good?? Yes it is.. in terms of time and money. I will get to spend one year lesser... and 8 modules... that means I save alot of money. But is it good. I guess I will have to talk to a lecturer soon and seek his advise.
Let me go through... everything smoothly......
Salsaera Paradiz signing off lovingly 9/23/2006 05:12:00 PM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Suddenly piled with so much work to complete within the day.
hmmmm.... 'lets have fun'.... -_-
Salsaera Paradiz signing off lovingly 9/20/2006 11:30:00 AM
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Let me have the Trust and Faith not only in myself but also in HIM.
Change my thinking and allow me to move forward closer to HIM.
How hard is it gonna be I really do not know.
Now comes to me and my BF...
We have gone through this relationship coming to half a year. Never had I felt this much love and appreciation. You need me so do I as well. Things happen for a reason since right from the start. There and then, I will remember to sweet memories, from the time we started talking and teasing. It just felt so comforting. Encouragement is what we both need all the time. Promise that we will always be there for each other and in whatever things we do...?? Please don't let me be alone.... Let me lay in the arms of yours always... Taking care of each other always...
One actually asked me how sure am I is to this relationship. But my answer is we won't be able to know what is going to happen in the future not even tomorrow. So let us work things out and make it happen and of course to TREASURE what we have as always. Ever since been with you then did I ever feel the care and concern I need.
Thank you darling for making things happen. SWEET... You may be a nerdhead but I know your concern and I know you always dote me.... but maybe you can show it more.... hahahaha.... nerdhead :p
Love you Silly Toad also affectionately known as FAT CAT... hahahahaha....
You will be up and well very very soon. And you know you will be well!! Muack!!
Salsaera Paradiz signing off lovingly 9/19/2006 03:34:00 AM
Monday, September 18, 2006
Now, I am really not enthusiatic about my modules and assignments. I feel that it's like no matter how hard I try, I will still tend not to do well. I just have to admit one thing is that I am never good in my studies even till now. How??? I am so afraid that I will still fail in the end no matter how hard I try... But I can't fail. All these cost money... loads of money. It's gonna be about est. $1800 per module.
Been to church twice with my dear. Its been such a long long time since I last stepped into a church. FOUR YEARS??? And the first time I stepped in happened to be the first Sunday of the month that means its the day for Communion. To take the bread which represents the body of Jesus and 'wine' which is the blood of HIS. I hesitated at first. I was considering whether I should be involved in the Communion. I did not know though I am baptised. But ultimately, I had them.
It has nothing to do about having to go back to my own church for I have already stopped for such a long time. I just do not know when will I really be able to accept and have faith. When will I be ready? Having to follow my darling to church is already big stepped I have taken and its a start. But once I stop, I do not know when will be the next time I will go to church. I need someone to bring me there and close to him. And my dear, its non other but you. Wen Qin, I need you to help me. Not only you, and also your sister and family members, BUT SLOWLY...
I happened to re-unite with an ex-colleague from CNBC who happened to be a christain also. I told her my part of story on why I back-slided.
Well here's how the story goes:
When young, I was very eager to go to church... that is New Creation Church. I was joyful and even take part in the youth Ministry. But till then, I back-slided, I was into SSA which I ultimately was not involved in it any longer. The reason which caused me to have back-slided was due to the fact that I hate it when people come preach to me and having to pester me in the activities which I wasn't at all interested. I had ulimately developed free-thinking thoughts.
I told my friend that I was actually very interested in having to dance for a church as I did once before as I was supposed to be helping my friend for the dance. I told her that I will wept and cry when hear the slow christian songs in church. She told me that it ultimately touched me. Whenever I listen to the slow christiann songs, I will start to tear for I will recall all the bad happenings which happened to me and I will start to speak the language of tongues.
My friend wanted to invite me to her church to introduce me to the church dance team but I rejected in the end.
BUT, despite all these, it comes to a point I still do not have the faith... Taking for an example, last recent Sunday, my dear went to the healing chinese session... After seeing everything which was happening that day, I just did not really want to bother or accept it as yet. I would rather believe in the scientific facts. I became quite frustrated in the end. Why?? I really do not know what had caused that to happen. Or rather, I have not seen or face any miracles allowing me to believe fully.
How... I really need help. How... ??
Now you know my part of story..... Help me.....
Salsaera Paradiz signing off lovingly 9/18/2006 11:37:00 PM
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Sometimes you just realise that some stuff are not meant to be spoken out to friends or anyone. It will simply just cause more trouble rather than help. I am starting to hate it when they both speak and the way of calling the person. It's simply irritating at times.I should seriously shut up and becareful on who I am talking to nowadays or rather knowing what to say the right thing at the right time. I dislike it when I am not aware of what is going on. I have a particular habit being a scorpio. Once I know slightly a bit of information, I will definitely dig it all the way in to find out. I hate it when someone keeps repeating the same sentence to another to show that I am wrong when I only just wanted to what is one thinking when one simply hardly tell me much. How would I know what is going on. It's best to know what is ones intention before going to the conclusion.
Ultimately, you will not know what will happen as you are unable to foresee the future. If it's meant to be then so be it....
Salsaera Paradiz signing off lovingly 9/10/2006 03:19:00 PM
Thursday, September 07, 2006
My life is miserable.
Again, I was been tortured, hit, smack...
I wanna get out!
I wanna leave! Where? How? I need to get out of the house.
Im breaking down soon...
Who can I confine to? Who???
I dare not do so, for it will just cause another burden to others.
So I will just try to swallow it down my throat myself.
Im tired.
How long is it still going to last?
Im not only physically hurt....
Im emotionally hurt as well....
Who is there to really shower me with the care and concern.
Now, the feeling I have is......
I FEEL LIKE LEAVING THIS WORLD. K*** ME!!!
Salsaera Paradiz signing off lovingly 9/07/2006 09:10:00 AM
Monday, September 04, 2006
Family?
Financial?
Till current, school is still fine, but wait till exams approach. I will be so dead. I hate Maths... cos I know nuts about Maths.
I still can stand Management though it's gonna be alot of writings.
And I guess I need a bank loan rather than having to pay $400 - $700 to my dad every month. I simply can't afford it now.
Office work is still going on fine, though there are more stuff for me and to meet the deadline. September will not be good as my colleague is gonna go on a long vacation. Which mean.... I have to solve most of the things myself. My boss handed me a coder for the HSBC net... that means for responsiblity for me and I have to really EXTRA careful with the figures as I tend to me quite careless.
Today was quite a bad day for me.
Imagine... office stairs which has no friction... It's practically like a layer of glossy paint coated on the floor....
And when you have a pair of slippers which has no grip as well...
(slippery stairs + slippery slippers = bad combination)
'KABOOM'
I slipped and fell, rolled and glided all the way down the stairs.
Now my ankle and elbow bones are hurting....
AND.... my upper thigh has a super big swell....
Just not me recently....
Salsaera Paradiz signing off lovingly 9/04/2006 11:35:00 PM
